What Do You Really Want?

“You must know what you want, to find what you want.”  ― Lailah Gifty Akita

I’ve been going through what I call somewhat of a “crossroads.” Not really sure what path to take and not really desiring any of the paths being presented.  Have you ever found yourself there?  I keep asking myself if I am going through some sort of fucking mid-life crisis, that, at this age, I am not suppose to be asking these questions.  While the world seems to be moving forward what deems normal: marriage, kids, picket fences, etc, etc, I sit here and wonder if these paths were also meant for me.  I search for the answers and find nothing. Perhaps, I am at the wrong “crossroads”????

How do we find what we really want or get on the right crossroad?

Yes, you must know what you want , to find what you want. But how do we know for sure if what we want is really WHAT WE WANT?

1. Feelings – How do you feel when you think about that very thing you want?  I recently did a vision board on a Friday night while listening to some soulful Brazilian music and sipping on some vodka and juice.  I just kind went with the flow, no writings, no agenda, just flipping through the magazines and allowing the universe to guide me.  As I came across a few images, some would bring a smile to my face and speak to my soul to the point that I would get lost in it and others, that were “social acceptable”, caused me anxiety.  By the time I was finished, a few of the things that are major in my life right now, did not make the board.

2. Childhood – What did you want to be when you grew up? Although the answer to this question could have been heavily influenced by the many adults in your circle, when you laid your head on your pillow at night  and played made believe in your mind (I still do that, BTW), what image of yourself did you see? What was the answer to yourself? I remember, as a kid, every-time I went to bed, I dreamt I was married to this famous Brazilian singer name Fabio Junior.  I loved his music and, before going to bed, I would look at his picture on the album cover and begin to fantasize (me as an adult) being married to him.  I laugh every-time I think about this! However, it helped me discover one of the things that I want: to be in a committed relationship that will lead to a good and healthy marriage.  You might say, “Isn’t that what most people want?” Well, great, than we have something in common. :).

3. Effortless – What comes natural to you? Have you ever found yourself doodling and wish you could make a career out of it? Well, I know someone who has.  Now, let me be clear, doodling is an art form.  It is our first contact with the act of creation. Now back to my friend.  Andrea Pippins is an amazing artist who always loved doodling as a kid (she still does by the way). What she knew for sure, at a young age, is that it brought her joy.  It was effortless. She decided to take that feeling and translate to  a BFA in graphic design and later earned her MFA at Temple University-Tyler School of Art.  She is now an amazing designer and educator who is “doodling” for life! Check out her site here.  What, effortlessly, do you do and what does it translate to?

There are so many ways to find out what we really want, and I am sure when you begin to remove the many layers of what has hindered the discovery of such, fear will sip in and perhaps stop you.  No worries, I’ve been there many times.  But we owe it to ourselves and to the very ones, that, by their own fears, have placed those layers on us.

Let’s start here, with these three things and check on each others progress.  Do you know what you really want? What do you think has stopped you from doing what you love?  Please share below. 🙂

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